moving...

blehh!! okay, so i have to move.. and i hate it.. even though im moving to a huge and really amazing house!!!!! 6 bedrooms top floor five bedrooms 2nd floor and 4 bedrooms on the main floor, plus rooms in the basement.. in which we are turning it into the game rooms, library, offices, hot tub, and jacoozy room, and then a pool room...
I think that GOD wants meh to move so that i can get over Steven and get away from the drama.. even though i dont want to.. Allen has all of my most fondest memories of all time.. everything that has happend here for meh i love and hold close and dear to my heart.. all of the time i spent with Steven, all of my football field memories with shelby lewis when the youth group was playing ultimate frisbee.. and meh and shelby were talking about everything and anything that popped up in our random conversations.. but we mostly showed each other what we did when we were cheerleaders..

 i miss her so much.. her hugs always made meh feel better.. i feel that i needed to listen to her more and appreciate what she tried to do for meh alot more.. the day that she died b4 she left we were talking on Facebook about how we should hang out and go swimming at her house when she gets back from the quilting thing.. and how much she missed meh at church because i havent been showing up.. she said, "see you when i get home, i love you Breanna Bre-Bre." and that was the last i heard from her.. my last words to her were, "I love you too Shelby! :)" and that was it.. i just wish that i could have one more day with her.. every night i have two dreams.. one about steven, and one of meh and Shelby.. the one of Steven is irrelevant and useless to even think about, but the one of meh and shelby is priceless.. we are standing where we usually stand and talk about cheerleading at the football field and the youth group is playing ultimate frisbee, and we are talking.. everynight the conversation is different.. its usually about my day and how everything went.. if something bad happend that day she gives meh a hug and tells meh everything will be okay. but if my day went perfect then we laugh and have fun and talk about cheerleading again.. and b4 i wake up she says "i love you, Breanna Bre-Bre!", the exact words she said to meh before she left to come home to allen but instead went home to GOD.. i guess its kind of ironic.. because before i wake up from my dreams she says that.. and in real life she said that, and when she went home to be with GOD and Jesus, i woke up.. i lost my best friend/ sister and i woke up from my life of thinking that everything should go my way and if it doesnt i throw a fit and be immature.. i just dont see why losing Shelby made meh wake up and realize my life was going downwards because of my attitude and how i acted when Steven left meh, i some how blame myself for losing shelby.. because maybe if i went to church more, and listened, and did what i was supposed to do, and listened to what GOD wanted meh to do maybe she would still be here.. part of meh thinks that GOD did it so that i would wake up and smell the coffee.. but maybe it wasnt only for meh.. maybe it was to make other people wake up as well as I.. But whatever the reason, GOD did it for a purpose..

~SRMP~♥

i have a blog!! :P

Whoo Whoo! i have a blog!! :P i feel awesome now... its not as good as my brother's blog www.alexevans.net but its still pretty cool!!